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The aim of our blog is to inspire and encourage others through sharing our stories, insights and experiences.We are young aspirational black women, working towards fulfilling our dreams as well as managing our professional, personal and spiritual lives. Share our journeys as we strive to fulfill our God given potential, demonstrating that we are all Gifted and Highly Favoured.

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Content

Stamina

Monday 28 February 2011 0 comments
Over the last week I've been really struggling to stay up beat and positive. I've got this sense of restlessness that I'm just not quite where I want to be. This feeling that things are not going at the pace I want them to go at, change is not coming quick enough. I'm doing so much working full time, studying part time, setting up a business, starting a blog, not to mention my personal life mom just recovering from being very ill last year and being in a new relationship. There's so much that needs to be done, theres's just not enough hours in the day. 


So there's enough to do already right? then you have the negativity you have to deal with at times in the work place and in life in general. People undermining you, people being disrespectful and just generally bringing negativity into your day. Sometimes people can really miss use their power, but thats a whole new topic and a whole other story I digress!


Needless to say I felt tired and feed up. All my energy and focus turned to feeling very sorry for myself. 


And then.....


I started to think that just maybe, just maybe I was wasting energy. All of my energy was being transfered to negative thinking, negative people and basically embracing a woe is me mentality. 


Why did I think that all my dreams would materialise over night? what would happen if I transferred by energy into fulfilling my life's purpose and vision? Why was I embracing this weakness? why was I giving up? 


See this week I came to see that life is not a 100 metre race, its a matron and it requires STAMINA.






Lets explore this further take a look below at the collection of reference points I have collated regarding stamina. 


Definition of stamina: 

  1. Physical or moral strength to resist or withstand illness, fatigue, or hardship; endurance.
  2. Enduring energy, strength, and resilience.
Other words for stamina: 


Staying power, endurance, resilience, force, power, energy, strength, resistance, grit, vigour, tenacity,power of endurance & indefatigability. (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/stamina)

Opposites to stamina: 

Apathy, lack, laziness, lethargy & weakness. 
Quote: "Continuous effort -- not strength or intelligence -- is the key to unlocking our potential." Liane Cardes



Video on stamina: http://www.oprah.com/own-master-class/Oprah-on-Diane-Sawyers-Stamina-Video


Isn't it interesting that the opposite to stamina is apathy, lack & laziness. Tell me how can I/ we expect our dreams to be realised if we can not commit to seeing them through until the end? If we give up in the face of opposition? if we fall at the first, second, third, forth, fifth etc hurdle and fail to get up?

Where would we be now if Dr King or Malcolm X got tired and gave up? 


Thomas Edison conducted approximately 10,000 experiments before he perfected the light bulb. I wonder if we would still be using gas lamps and candles if he had given up after even a few attempts?  Who knows! What I do know is that when you have a vision for your life, when you can see the life of your dreams, keep pushing until you are wide awake within that dream. Don't stop until your true purpose in life is fulfilled. 


So in the words of Kayne West 'I won't be taking no days off until my spaceship takes off' now thats stamina! Meet you amongst the stars. 


Stay Gifted and Highly Favoured. 


Lele x 



Live for the moment and cherish those around you

Sunday 27 February 2011 0 comments


As with the majority of the other bloggers I have been stressing about the topic of my blog and after reading everyone else's blog I felt so initimidated by the level inspiration and blogs that everyone had written. When the rota came out I specifically asked Leone if I could have my blog for when I would be in Miami.... And here I am approximately ten past 2 sittin on south beach with writers block (embarassed face). Anyway let me rewind a little so I can give you a flavour of the beginning of my South Beach adventure.

So I arrived in Miami South Beach yesterday evening at 6pm local time (that would be 11pm English time) to a temperature of 28 degrees celcius..... Big smiles :-) Only God knows how much I have been needing this break away. Right now I feel so blessed to be away with two women who are the closest to me in my life, my mum and my sister.

I was actually quite anxious about this holiday because as with any other family we do argue...however right now I am living for the moment and loving my family time.

I am already suffering from jetlagg due to the 5 hours time difference and I had the worst sleep ever so I figured I would stay up and sleep it off on the beach this morning (am I making you guys jealous.... He he). I sat in the apartment this morning with my Blackberry... Yes I brought my phone, but only becuase I knew I needed to blog looool - and keep in touch with the world of course. My mum and sister are already cussing me telling me to get off my phone even though they know the reason I'm on it..... Apprently the next 10 days are family time only so please forgive me if my blog seems shorter than those you may have read on other days.

Its actually quite a strange visit to Miami for me becuase the last and only other time I have been here was with my ex over 5 years ago. I'm walking down the same streets, seen the exact hotel we stayed in and walked across the same Gay area on the beach that we accidently sat in 3 days in a row before we realised that we were not meant to be sitting there....Eeeeeek!!

Anyway the reason why I say its strange is becuase a lot happened within the time of me visiting Miami with him and me visiting now and without going into too much detail it did involve a break up, me moving to London, me dating other guys, him moving to London (and I'm sure dating other women too). Five years later we are back together just recently and its going better than ever and the future looks bright. Sounds sad and smoochy I know - But everyone that knows me knows that I am not that girl to say such things and those reading who do know me 'I can see the looks on your faces ha ha ha ha' bet you can't believe I am writing what I am, but who cares I'm in MIAMI and I guess I must have sun stroke lol.

Enough of that smoochy stuff already anyway! (omg I'm writing like an american). Talking of that my mum thinks its really funny to be talking like an American at the moment even to American people and its really embarassing to say the least becuase her accent is awful and people are looking at us funny. I would usually get touchy about those things but you no what I'm on holiday and I am living for the moment and embracing everything Miami has to offer. As long as my mum and sis are having fun I don't really care about anything else.

So whilst we are here we are going to be living for the moment including my mother, check out the list of things we are going to be doing:

  • Going to the biggest basketball game Miami heats against the New York Nickys (I think that's what their called.
  • Going on a cruise to the Bahamas for two days
  • Visiting Universal Studios in Orlando Florida
  • Visiting Key West - Apparently they have some of the most beautiful beaches in the world
  • Jet ski-ing (of course)
  • Hiring out roller blades - Miami style
  • Hiring out an electronic scotter (those ones with the big wheels)
  • And finally chilling out and having some well overdue quality family time. I guess on my next blog I will be able to update you on how it all went and oh whether myself an my sis managed to get my mum to overcome her fears and do all of the above.

The last couple of months has been a testing time for my family with illnesses, job losses and tested friendships and this break sees an end to all of that.

Right now I'm living with no regrets, good people around me and I'm HAPPY. I'm in Miami baybee and me and mine are, LIVING FOR THE MOMENT and valuing the time we have together.....oh and getting blacker than black.

Gotta dash.........

Ps. Its 29 degree celcius today.

Love

Shemeleah xxx

Letting go of fear – the reason we are afraid of change

Saturday 26 February 2011 0 comments



So there I was after having been rudely but necessarily awoken by my alarm at 5:30am... now on the train at 7:00am feeling groggy but highly inspired by the latest blog (my daily inspiration fix for the past week), whilst thinking my blog day is close approaching and what on earth am I going to talk about ...I had no idea..’Oh well’ I though, I’m sure it will come to me when the day arrives ’I hope’! Besides I had lots of other thoughts racing around in my mind as I sat on my last journey from Leeds to Manchester...consumed with what I came to realise was not just a bit of anxiety but an underlying fear of this being my last day in a job which I am very comfortable and happy in... But there is… An issue in its self... I was comfortable... too comfortable maybe? So why move? You’re probably asking yourselves... Well here it is... After living on my own for the best part of 3 years, last week I relocated to Leeds to live with my partner of three years (most convenient place for us) and yes I’m happy in my job but the commute would have been financially and physically stressful and exhausting...so here I am in midst of going through some big life changes all within a short space of time...there it goes, fears set in once again not just about my final day ahead but of starting my new job next week.. Thoughts of ‘what if I don’t like the new job?’ ‘What if I end up being unhappy & what affect that will have on my relationship?’... And there it was my topic for the blog transpired....the fear of change...

Changes which I have feared, been worried, anxious, and doubtful as well as excited about….new job, new city & new house...Changes which became such an overwhelming thought that one day I was very close to calling it all off… Yes, there I was a few weeks ago sat in my room wanting to feel completely in control and to be the master of my own destiny, whilst at the same time I was battling in my head with my mobile in my hand going through what I would say and how I would say it... yes I was one call away from ruining it all simply because I was paralysed with fear and afraid to change that I almost ended up settling for less than I deserved and needed to do in order to progress and succeed in life.

That was the point where I said (or should I say shouted) to myself ‘Zenna snap out of it’ but my fear and anxieties had started to kick in way before that... I had long started to play the ‘What if’ game over and over in my mind, ‘what if I don’t like my new job and my new colleagues’ ‘What if I can’t go to the gym as much as I used to and put on weight’ What if I realise that I and my partner just can live together’ What if I end up feeling trapped’ … And on… and on it went… doubt after doubt spinning around and around in my head…as the saying goes ‘The devil you know is better than the one you don’t’ how many of you have subconsciously lived up to that saying? It is this fear of the unknown which is so deeply ingrained within us that it stops us from ever making positive changes in our lives.

Though I can’t predict the future, rather than letting my imagination run buck wild, dreaming up worst case scenarios, I started to channel my thinking to the positive aspects of my changing situation, such as what my new life will mean in terms of a step in the right direction to where I want to be in, both in my career and personal life. We always seem to forget that we can change these negative thought processes we so easily find ourselves slipping into. We all have choices, options and most of all a way out... so that’s what I told myself... I can always change my job if I don’t like it, and living with my partner will mean we will see each other daily and get the chance to develop our relationship further... As I have come to see...Fear of change doesn't just hold you back it stops you truly living.

Changing my thinking has enabled me to open my mind and channel all my energy to all the new opportunities and surprises I would never have imagined rather than leading myself down a dark, downward path to negativity ... my philosophy is that even if it doesn’t all work out ‘I will not live with regret’, regret that I didn’t know what could have been and should have been.

Ultimately I would have gained not lost... I would have grown as a person, learned and gained invaluable life experiences, all of which I can use as a stepping stone for the next change that lies ahead. Frequently, in business and in life we get too comfortable, but one thing I have come to realize is that it is only through venturing out of your comfort zone that you are truly able to come to the realization that what seems to be a huge unreachable task is not as unobtainable and achievable as it once seemed.

This brings me onto another element of fear...’Self Doubt’... over the years this is something I have constantly found myself battling with… ‘Will I be able to deliver that presentation to the self set expectations?’ ‘Will I be able to juggle living with a partner, going to work as well as starting my own business?’

I have also had to deal with agonising over decisions & mentally painting myself into a corner …You know the ‘is it the right thing to do’ scenario which jolts you to an abrupt holt. Looking for self reassurance from others, driving everyone around you to near insanity as well as yourself… I know I most certainly have... oh more poor mother, who as mothers do has provided me with reassurance time after time in the form of telling me to ‘Stop being silly and have faith that whatever I decide will be a step in the right direction’ and like a light out of nowhere a big burden is all of a sudden lifted and you miraculously feel open-minded and excited about your decision. I ask myself why that had to be so painstakingly difficult!?

You see through all the agonizing and doubting we seem all too easily able to forget that we have options…. Feeling there is no way out. It’s limiting thoughts like these that keep us trapped in situations we don’t want to be in. …. Whilst the truth is with a little brainstorming there is always another option. For me I had to come to the sharp realization that I could stay living on my own and not progress in my relationship or career or I could bite the bullet and move to Leeds to be with my partner and concentrate my energies on finding a new job, using my marketing skills to sell myself in interviews.

My final thought

My final question/thought for you today is ‘Do you get caught up in mental safety nets?’ If so, reconsider your thoughts! Don’t live in fear of what might happen, don’t settle for whatever may happen, have the self confidence to take control find your own greatness and let life’s destiny guide you to life’s full potential as you flourish like a butterfly through life’s changes for change is one of the constants in life.

Whatever is holding you back right now as Mark Twain once said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” People who are successful haven’t just conquered fear, they are the ones who in the face of fear were afraid but did it anyway.

So whatever you do in life and whatever decisions you make, always remember to face life with courage, stay blessed gifted and highly favoured!

Zen

Happiness and Acceptance

Friday 25 February 2011 0 comments

My lesson this week has been about happiness and acceptance.

(Thank you Selina, our earlier convo’ really just hit home!)

It’s been a particularly challenging week, with so much uncertainty and things lingering in the air, it’s an exciting time – yet very uncertain. It’s like seeing a destination you want to reach, making moves to get there, but it’s always that challenge of getting from “here” to “there”, not particularly knowing which winding road to take, attempting to exercise patience, adhering to the reoccurring message of trust, whilst holding the faith and vision and battling with wanting everything to be ok and happen ‘RIGHT NOW!’.

After much circling, action, in-action, meditation and dealing with the everyday issues of life, today it’s really hit me that the drive and frustration fuelling me to change my circumstances in order to be “happier” is actually in the process making me very “unhappy”, remaining in a constant state of trying to create change.

So, I’ve learned that if we can be happy within ourselves and appreciate everything that is, whilst doing what we’re most passionate about, then no matter what the external circumstances are, we will always be happy; finding the true happiness inside, rather than reacting to external stimuli.

In a nutshell, it’s that peace and acceptance, letting the world just be, as well knowing and trusting that everything is going to work out beautifully.

Keisha :)

Life is like a photograph...you develop from the negatives!

Thursday 24 February 2011 2 comments


I saw the quote 'Life is like a photograph...you develop from the negatives!' on someone's blog/twitter or some other online forum a few weeks ago. I immediately put it as my blackberry status as it was so fitting for how I was feeling at the time. I actually didn't plan to write about this today...I actually didn't plan to write about anything to be honest, I just hoped it'd just come to me when I signed in...

Before I went to bed this morning (no, that wasn't a typo, it really was this morning) and when I woke up later this morning (after very little sleep), I was still thinking what will my blog be about? What can I possibly write about, being one of the last ladies to blog, that hasn't already been covered. After several sips of my mint tea and a refill I decided on a topic. So, when the AA guy rang my buzzer and while I waited for him to manoeuvre the 12ton truck down a single car driveway trying not to hit the cars parked on either side of the road, I started to type up a draft in my phone. A few minutes later I was interrupted by the AA guys loud voice shouting "Sorry luv, I can't get the truck down the drive. Your looking at up to a 3hr wait for us to get a smaller truck out to you." GREAT! Just what I needed... So as I'm walking back inside I'm saying to myself, universe I know that there's obviously a reason for this...but 3 weeks ago my clutch went and then 2 weeks later I get in the car to find that it won't drive as the front and back wheel have seized, I've waited a week for the appointment at the garage, and all I want to do is get my poor Betty (the car) fixed. Part of me thought I really should have scrapped this car a long time ago, maybe I should just cancel the AA and do it now and save myself any more money/time/inconvenience etc.

So, fast forward an hour and the AA guy's back...the same one with the 12ton truck, but he's got a friend with him this time, an AA guy with a van...the same type of van that couldn't move the car last week... So I take a deep breath and ask what the plan is. They openly admit that they don't know but are willing to try, so I agree as I still have 2hrs wait time for the smaller truck. Mind going 100miles an hour, I switch off and just watch the 2 guys work together on what seemed an impossible task. And to my surprise, 30 minutes later, not only are they hoisting her onto the truck, they have provided a possible diagnosis and eliminated the main problem, by releasing the 2 wheels that were seized. So I start thinking, this was looking like it was going to be a bad day, and in a relatively short space of time it turned around. And it's pretty much like life, granted, it often isn't as quick, easy to solve or pain/stress free. But sometimes things get bad, sometimes a lot of negative things happen, sometimes when we're on the brink of giving up all that's needed is a little positivity/faith/belief to keep on going...and when we come out at the other end and it comes good, we can look back and say it was worth it, I learned and grew!!

So whether it's car trouble, work stress, uni/school pressure, relationship issues or just life in general that's getting you down...just remember that life is like a photograph and we develop from the negatives : )

Stay gifted & highly favoured!

Mel x

Building Resilience...

Wednesday 23 February 2011 3 comments
… so I was wake up this morning like any other by my routine phone alarm. And like every morning I then struggle to feel for my phone on the bedside table with the pillow over my head to snooze and check the time (06:15am). However, this morning was different because I snoozed Chris Williams ‘don’t wake me I’m dreaming’ (from the New Jack City sound track) but then a pop up message saying ‘BLOG Day’ is displayed in replacement of the time check. Right so my thoughts are now replaced with the beach house in my dreams to the following question. What should the subject matter of my debut blog be? Think Shereen hmmmOk so I think for about a few mins and then fall asleep for a little longer. Fifteen minutes pass (snooze time) and unsurprisingly I wake with the question on the top of my thoughts again. What should I share? Think Shereen hmmm… I do believe that you shouldn't force thoughts so I decided to park my question in the hope that by the time I get a chance to submit my blog (its now 19:55pm) an idea would have prevailed... or if all else fails wiki is only a click away - just kidding! (she says lol).

Ok so back to this morning at home and ignoring my own advice I continue to think about what should the subject matter of my debut blog be tut tut. I shower, brush my teeth, moisturise my skin, style my hair, dress and apply make up think Shereen hmmm… I inhale breakfast, brush my teeth again, leave the house to catch the train, make a few calls think Shereen hmmm

Arrive at work, check my emails, meet, greet and yes you’ve guessed it think Shereen hmmm
I head to my first meeting of the day (productive), get my daily caffeine intake (essential) and head to meeting number 2 hmmm… Arrive at meeting number 2, participate in meeting number 2, become slightly passive in meeting number 2, start to think about ringing my nephew to wish him happy birthday in meeting number 2 hmmm… Start thinking about my friends, family and boyfriend in meeting number 2 hmmmOk get back in the room Shereen because ‘thank you for attending today’s meeting’ is the cue to leave meeting number 2! I shake hands, leave and walk to the loo, which is now overdue because of the story that initiated my subject matter for today which is the following.

On my way to the ladies I was called by the Barclays Fraud Prevention Team to be informed that my debit card had been cloned and as a result my bank account had been almost cleaned out in one fowl sweep. As you can imagine there where a mixture of emotions but annoyance, anger and invasion of privacy sums it up. However, without sounding too philosophical I like to make the best out of any situation including this bad one. And no word of a lie this was my quote after putting down the phone to Sanjit my Fraud Prevention Advisor:

"Ah ha brilliant, I’ve got it! I know what I want to talk about in my blog today. The power of resilience”.

So getting my card cloned does have its advantages (lmao) because at least I can now talk about a subject that’s clearly recent and close to my heart. But more importantly what I am trying to say is simply this… Build your resilience because it will ensure that you can have a sunny smile on your face through all weathering conditions. That way, you are prepared to deal with any tragedy that strikes (for eg. a death of a loved one, a serious illness or my experience today) and you will not fall apart through any life-changing events because you have built a positive level of resilience.

Resilience is used to describe people who lead normal, fulfilling lives despite having experienced trauma or tragedy. They are resilient because they have the ability to recover from adversity and retain a positive self-image and view of the world. Facing challenges on the foundation that there is more right than wrong with the world give an individual the confidence to know that they can get through whatever problem exists.

So before I hit bottle of wine chilling in my fridge with my Nics (Nicole Fuller who submitted her blog on 15 Feb) I thought I’d share the following tips for building resilience (I’ve referred to these in the past for building my own resilience). This is because resilience is not a trait people either have or don't have—it involves behaviours, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed.

Building Resilience

Here are some strategies for building resilience:

  • Nurture a positive view of yourself. Develop confidence in your ability to solve problems and trust your instincts.
  • Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. While it is important to prioritize the immediate situation in a crisis, remember that in the bigger picture that this is a time limited event.
  • Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals no longer may be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that can't be changed can help you focus on circumstances you can affect.
  • Look for opportunities for self-discovery. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship report better relationships, a greater sense of strength, an increased sense of self-worth, and a greater appreciation for life.
  • Make connections. Good relationships with family, friends or others are important. Accept help and support from those who care about you.
  • Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect good things to happen in your life.
  • Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly, get enough sleep, eat a healthful diet, and limit alcohol consumption.
  • Last tip of the day is consider writing your thoughts about stressful events in your life. Try praying and/or meditation. Many people find these activities help them build connections with others and restore lost hope. Write out a list of the challenges and then list both your strengths to deal with them and the available resources to help you.

With the above in mind, here is a poem that I wrote for a very close friend who’s resilience in my eye is so admirable. I hope you enjoy. Have a great night and please remember that we are all gifted and highly favoured.

S xxx

This faction was acquaint to me through the eyes of a dear friend…

Lethally lashing the laver of dysfunctional love,

Each strike and blow more larcenous taking lessened pity on the emotions and devotions of this human spirit.

Traumatized…

In a scene of treason for what reason in the hierarchy of this royal urban family,

It seemed to feel like a far-fetched justification as an inexorable form of disciplinary.

But why…

Knowingly obstructing her parenting mentor like tenders, Queen progresses to a possessed violent offender to the victimised agenda, Her biological ‘splendour’.

The Worship…

To be as what we are required to be, They qualm, then plea mercy in excuse of the menial mistake of what now makes the limbs bruise, brake and obliterate contemptibly.

The regiment in place…

But in the splice of wrist swish to wrench, queen foresees her path for leading the quarry of cruelty.

Again and again and as the body grows number the beating seem to last longer But wait… he seems to grow stronger!…

Stronger than the life forms she participated in creating,

He evolves to a mind body and soul that would assist him out of her institution.

As she now receives the de-generation of her previous regulations,

Her voice now qualms and pleas mercy from the tender biological ‘splendour’ that USED to surrender to her vicious agenda.

Remember…

But as governed by kismet it seems as though his spirit shuns in allowance to the ultimate reversal of what was received.

Love looks higher…a cut above the turmoil incarcerated and professes to become an emblem of which she will not hold worth to boast of proudly.

Embedded pain…

We wonder why we at times receive those who appear to un-love and trust with wise-less integrity, But remember!

As he has climbed further than the average achiever, he now realises that one of his catalyst in being successor was of course rooted through the ideation of his originally feared aggressor, Queen.

Brighter days…

And so you sometimes must see that the path we lead however distraught at times it may seem assists in finding our true living destiny.

We are gems and must remember that God gives us this power of life to use to OUR best advantage.

Those who initiate paths of negativity will pay in same way or another whether loosing a lover or respect of another life.

Therefore, you must try to walk in paths of love (not lust) and you will receive what you have work tremens to find in conclusion.

Build your resilience and self reliance within…

Courage

Tuesday 22 February 2011 1 comments

Hi bloggers, one of my favourite poems is:

Courage is not only gifted to the few brave ones,
It is something that lies within you,
Where you can draw upon its strength and power,
In times of crisis, fears and decisions.

Courage is not something mysterious or unattainable,
It is something that you can exercise in your daily life choices,
You can let it bring to you untraveled paths,
And make you more conscious and aware of your life
.

Courage does not have to roar to be heard,
It does not mean being totally fearless and being invincible,
It could mean taking actions, taking risks, taking a stand,
Standing up for yourself, standing by your choices,
And sticking to your dreams when others jeered.

Courage could be the will to live in spite of the struggles,
In spite of your fears and phobias, in spite of what others said,
In spite of criticisms and disapproval, in spite of mistakes and failures,
In spite of everything that stands between you and your dreams
.

Courage could mean trying over and over again when you failed,
Admitting that you are sorry when you are in the wrong,
Saying I love you when your love is angry,
Having a baby when the idea of being a parent scared you,
Listening to your heart when others called you a fool,
Following your dreams even when others discouraged you,
And staying true to yourself when others want you in another way.

Hold steadfast to your dreams, your heart and yourself,
And courage will not abandon you,
But follows you whenever you choose to go.

Fion Lim 2006

I feel like this poem speaks for itself, it is exactly what a gifted and highly favoured woman stands for. Its all about being fearless and standing for what you believe in. If I’m honest, I struggle with this at times. Its so easy to let life and its lyrics bring you down whether that’s losing someone/something that you love or having a bad day at work where nothing goes to plan. Its easy to feel discouraged and defeated. But don’t be! Hold your head up high because if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will!

So stay true and stay encouraged! J

J xXx