Building Resilience...

Wednesday, 23 February 2011
… so I was wake up this morning like any other by my routine phone alarm. And like every morning I then struggle to feel for my phone on the bedside table with the pillow over my head to snooze and check the time (06:15am). However, this morning was different because I snoozed Chris Williams ‘don’t wake me I’m dreaming’ (from the New Jack City sound track) but then a pop up message saying ‘BLOG Day’ is displayed in replacement of the time check. Right so my thoughts are now replaced with the beach house in my dreams to the following question. What should the subject matter of my debut blog be? Think Shereen hmmmOk so I think for about a few mins and then fall asleep for a little longer. Fifteen minutes pass (snooze time) and unsurprisingly I wake with the question on the top of my thoughts again. What should I share? Think Shereen hmmm… I do believe that you shouldn't force thoughts so I decided to park my question in the hope that by the time I get a chance to submit my blog (its now 19:55pm) an idea would have prevailed... or if all else fails wiki is only a click away - just kidding! (she says lol).

Ok so back to this morning at home and ignoring my own advice I continue to think about what should the subject matter of my debut blog be tut tut. I shower, brush my teeth, moisturise my skin, style my hair, dress and apply make up think Shereen hmmm… I inhale breakfast, brush my teeth again, leave the house to catch the train, make a few calls think Shereen hmmm

Arrive at work, check my emails, meet, greet and yes you’ve guessed it think Shereen hmmm
I head to my first meeting of the day (productive), get my daily caffeine intake (essential) and head to meeting number 2 hmmm… Arrive at meeting number 2, participate in meeting number 2, become slightly passive in meeting number 2, start to think about ringing my nephew to wish him happy birthday in meeting number 2 hmmm… Start thinking about my friends, family and boyfriend in meeting number 2 hmmmOk get back in the room Shereen because ‘thank you for attending today’s meeting’ is the cue to leave meeting number 2! I shake hands, leave and walk to the loo, which is now overdue because of the story that initiated my subject matter for today which is the following.

On my way to the ladies I was called by the Barclays Fraud Prevention Team to be informed that my debit card had been cloned and as a result my bank account had been almost cleaned out in one fowl sweep. As you can imagine there where a mixture of emotions but annoyance, anger and invasion of privacy sums it up. However, without sounding too philosophical I like to make the best out of any situation including this bad one. And no word of a lie this was my quote after putting down the phone to Sanjit my Fraud Prevention Advisor:

"Ah ha brilliant, I’ve got it! I know what I want to talk about in my blog today. The power of resilience”.

So getting my card cloned does have its advantages (lmao) because at least I can now talk about a subject that’s clearly recent and close to my heart. But more importantly what I am trying to say is simply this… Build your resilience because it will ensure that you can have a sunny smile on your face through all weathering conditions. That way, you are prepared to deal with any tragedy that strikes (for eg. a death of a loved one, a serious illness or my experience today) and you will not fall apart through any life-changing events because you have built a positive level of resilience.

Resilience is used to describe people who lead normal, fulfilling lives despite having experienced trauma or tragedy. They are resilient because they have the ability to recover from adversity and retain a positive self-image and view of the world. Facing challenges on the foundation that there is more right than wrong with the world give an individual the confidence to know that they can get through whatever problem exists.

So before I hit bottle of wine chilling in my fridge with my Nics (Nicole Fuller who submitted her blog on 15 Feb) I thought I’d share the following tips for building resilience (I’ve referred to these in the past for building my own resilience). This is because resilience is not a trait people either have or don't have—it involves behaviours, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed.

Building Resilience

Here are some strategies for building resilience:

  • Nurture a positive view of yourself. Develop confidence in your ability to solve problems and trust your instincts.
  • Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. While it is important to prioritize the immediate situation in a crisis, remember that in the bigger picture that this is a time limited event.
  • Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals no longer may be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that can't be changed can help you focus on circumstances you can affect.
  • Look for opportunities for self-discovery. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship report better relationships, a greater sense of strength, an increased sense of self-worth, and a greater appreciation for life.
  • Make connections. Good relationships with family, friends or others are important. Accept help and support from those who care about you.
  • Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect good things to happen in your life.
  • Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly, get enough sleep, eat a healthful diet, and limit alcohol consumption.
  • Last tip of the day is consider writing your thoughts about stressful events in your life. Try praying and/or meditation. Many people find these activities help them build connections with others and restore lost hope. Write out a list of the challenges and then list both your strengths to deal with them and the available resources to help you.

With the above in mind, here is a poem that I wrote for a very close friend who’s resilience in my eye is so admirable. I hope you enjoy. Have a great night and please remember that we are all gifted and highly favoured.

S xxx

This faction was acquaint to me through the eyes of a dear friend…

Lethally lashing the laver of dysfunctional love,

Each strike and blow more larcenous taking lessened pity on the emotions and devotions of this human spirit.


In a scene of treason for what reason in the hierarchy of this royal urban family,

It seemed to feel like a far-fetched justification as an inexorable form of disciplinary.

But why…

Knowingly obstructing her parenting mentor like tenders, Queen progresses to a possessed violent offender to the victimised agenda, Her biological ‘splendour’.

The Worship…

To be as what we are required to be, They qualm, then plea mercy in excuse of the menial mistake of what now makes the limbs bruise, brake and obliterate contemptibly.

The regiment in place…

But in the splice of wrist swish to wrench, queen foresees her path for leading the quarry of cruelty.

Again and again and as the body grows number the beating seem to last longer But wait… he seems to grow stronger!…

Stronger than the life forms she participated in creating,

He evolves to a mind body and soul that would assist him out of her institution.

As she now receives the de-generation of her previous regulations,

Her voice now qualms and pleas mercy from the tender biological ‘splendour’ that USED to surrender to her vicious agenda.


But as governed by kismet it seems as though his spirit shuns in allowance to the ultimate reversal of what was received.

Love looks higher…a cut above the turmoil incarcerated and professes to become an emblem of which she will not hold worth to boast of proudly.

Embedded pain…

We wonder why we at times receive those who appear to un-love and trust with wise-less integrity, But remember!

As he has climbed further than the average achiever, he now realises that one of his catalyst in being successor was of course rooted through the ideation of his originally feared aggressor, Queen.

Brighter days…

And so you sometimes must see that the path we lead however distraught at times it may seem assists in finding our true living destiny.

We are gems and must remember that God gives us this power of life to use to OUR best advantage.

Those who initiate paths of negativity will pay in same way or another whether loosing a lover or respect of another life.

Therefore, you must try to walk in paths of love (not lust) and you will receive what you have work tremens to find in conclusion.

Build your resilience and self reliance within…


Pooja at: 24 February 2011 at 00:16 said...

Very insightful..positive thinking - positive energy regardless of the situation..well done!

Marlene at: 25 February 2011 at 14:04 said...

Very true Shereen! You have to have a positive outlook on life, in order to live through good times and bad times. We are in hard times now and more then ever you have to have that mental, physical and emotional resilience. As I said, so you think it so it shall be!

I look forward to next one. Blessings M xx

Cassandra at: 1 March 2011 at 15:43 said...

Very True! Unlike our 'blueprints for a perfect life', the reality is life is tough and situations can crush us unless we have the ability to step back, re-evaluate and move onward and upwards. Everything happens for a reason, but we need to move forward before we can look back and see why! x

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