Who are you?

Friday, 20 May 2011
There are many challenges in life but I think one that we can all relate to is the challenge of ourselves. We struggle so many times with the thin line (or not!) between who we are and who we want to be. Even thinnner than that the line between who we think we are and who we actually are. Thats where I come in.

Going to university was like a no brainer for me. Neither of my parents were university graduates but I have a few aunts and uncles who have been and it was so obvious to me that I too would be going. I already knew the exact course too (music and dance) and thought that deciding where to go would be just as easy as all the above...little did I know it wasn't. I bet now you're all going through your experiences in your own minds of the visits and countless interviews that took place. My dilemma was not on whether or not this was an acceptable university to go to but whether or not I was a suitable student. Say what?!?!

There is University A (No names listed to avoid offending anybody who went or attends) and University B (where I ended up!). Both universities offered my preferred course and I wanted to be somewhere where I thought I would grow in professional development and as an artist/performer. Uni B had more modern facilities and seemed to really be involved in the progression of the course as well as the student and seemed to be open to each students desires and specific areas of interest. Uni A didn't seem as open to other genres and practices but still showed promise and was also going through major cosmetic refurb. I knew where I wanted to go but as I approached decision making time that thin line between who I thought I was and who I actually was appeared blocking my way and stopped me from making the decision I wanted to.
You see when we think we're not worthy, when we listen to lies about our capabilities we change route and jump off track and start heading in another direction even though we know full well that while we may still lack in some areas we can do that which is before us; we'll just need to work at it. If I had only knew that then! My thoughts were "well, I think I'd like to go to Uni B its just that I don't think Im good enough. Look at all the other people who'd be going here..." blah blah blah. Not to mention family members saying that its too far to travel x y z. All that right there created a melting pot of excuses and supposed reasons not to go to Uni B.

So yes you guessed right! I end up at Uni A. I was unhappy for a whole academic year. I almost ended up hating the subjects I love and have a passion for. It was ultimately a waste of time and student loan. All this because I thought I was not who I should've been to attend. Folks, don't doubt who you are and your abilities. Know your capabilities but be confident in who you are and the offers placed before you.
I did eventually go to Uni B (huraaaay!) and wish I had the confidence to go there from the start. I ended up back on track. Some people don't and just sit through their university life unhappy. Don't be one of those but assess your situation and confidently make changes.

This situation has been used for my good! Now I can come to situations in life and before making decisions I can erase the thin line of who I think I am and look at who I actually am! I can be confident in that and recognise that if the door is open to something that seems a little bigger than me, or to something that seems more than I can handle then I remember I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Be encouraged!


Lele at: 23 May 2011 at 13:45 said...

What a wonderful encouraging post, this is so true. We can often talk ourselves out of our best lives!

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