My #IAM moment

Monday, 6 June 2011
It’s inevitable that at some points in our lives we’ll go through instances of feeling low, stressed out, ugly, worthless, frightened - basically life feels as if it’s heading into some sort of no-man’s land, meanwhile you wonder around feeling bewildered, lost or unfulfilled. Your emotions are twisted in turmoil and each day the same hurt and thoughts from yesterday follow you into tomorrow, next week and maybe even years ahead. For a lot of us these feelings never seem to shift, however for others it’s a momentary phase and it comes and goes. Acknowledging the void or distress that you’re experiencing is the first step, and I would also say the hardest, but be honest enough with yourself to dig deep and begin to start freeing your mind.

To add some form of perspective into this, I myself have a lot of these ugly thoughts. Constantly counteracting compliments with put-downs, letting fear control the choices that I make in life, and allowing how I felt about myself affect my relationships. But I have a lot of confident women in my life and after so many conversations I realised that I owed myself a lot more, so I decided to change it…

Now for the turnaround. I’ve been scared of the gym for so long it’s ridiculous! The thought of feeling tired before the person next to me on the treadmill, and men ogling me as I step from machine to machine crippled me with anxiety. But how long can I really stay away from the gym when I love to exercise? So I booked my induction and now I go to sleep looking forward to my workout. Second thing, get to reading some positive literature. A friend of mine, Selina, always told me which books to purchase and I did a while ago, but never read it properly, now I read and re-read. One of the poignant things that stuck out for me is learning when to surrender and trust that the universe will sort you out, because some things are just not worth the headache. And the last thing is keeping a daily Gratitude diary. I write down ‘3 positives about my day, my life and me.’ It’s amazing how much we take for granted and don’t appreciate about ourselves. Focusing on those things really makes a difference to your perspective.

Let me wrap it up now so I avoid sounding like a therapist, I just wanted to make a point. No amount of kind words from others can give you self-esteem and you owe it to yourself to be happy. Do what you need to do and don’t become a slave to your thoughts. (As said by a friend of mine.)

Vicky. x

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