New Life

6th November 2011 I got baptised along with my mother. It was such a special day, I wanted to share a part of that day in the form of a poem I wrote as a testimony of what God has done for me xx

Dead to myself resurrection new life
Today is the first day of my life
My old life is dead to me now but I do not mourn
Gone are the days I felt twisted and torn
Returning my life to its original source
Gone are those days of guilt and remorse
Guilt and condemnation are things of the past
Jesus my saviour the light to my path

Out of the darkness the son sets me free
Back to my childhood, my God dwells in me
I've stopped pulling away from God, why defy gravity

Oh what a blessing his mercy is mine
He choose me and moulds me
My saviour divine
His victory is mine
Though I don't deserve it
My saviour and friend, sacrificed his if for mine
On him I depend

What more can i say? What more can I do?
But live out my life in dedication to you


His word is my mirror reflecting the truth
Praise God how I thank him for the opportunity to change in my youth
Out of the darkness and into the light
Along with my mother how blessed am I?
He's given me wings, I'm so free I can fly
We walk hand in hand my father and I

Stay blessed, love Leone x

Perfect stranger

I moved house last week, which is something I've become accustomed to
since living in London.  I've had a bit of practice so was very
organised.

By 9am the fragile stuff were packed in the car ready for the movers at 10.
10o'clock, it all started to go down hill.  The movers were late, when
they did turn up they were a company I had used previously trading
under a different name, the advertised 23 foot van was the size of a
small Tesco delivery van...the list went on.  It basically went from
bad to worse.

They initially agreed to do 2 trips however they arrived with the
first load at the new property 2hrs late after getting lost & stuck in
traffic.  They had another appointment & had to leave after unloading.
 So I was stuck with my belongings in the garden and shared communal
area at the old place.  I went back to assess what was left & started
calling around to see if I could get anyone to help. My old neighbour
came out & asked if I was alright, I clearly wasn't but being the
person I am I said I was fine.  My neighbour walked away & came back
out minutes later with his brother.  They both opened their boots &
started loading things into their cars.

I was completely overwhelmed & utterly speechless.  My neighbour & I
have always greeted each other if we pass in the hallway & exchanged a
few words when I moved in.  Otherwise we've both kept ourselves to
ourselves.  We're practically strangers, but in my hour of need they
came to my rescue.  I can never repay them for what they did, but I
will never forget it!  It reminds me that there are genuinely good
people out there.

But you don't have to wait for that person to come along and do a good
deed for you, why not be that person for someone else!  Just a
thought...

Nuevo Mel

Conquer your fears - Jumping In The Deep End

I would like to share with you the below quote from an article I recently read on Conquering fear by Doug Heacock.

"It is a rare person who lives without fear of one kind or another. You may fear heights, or spiders, or new situations, or rejection–whatever your fears may be, you can either let those fears form boundaries beyond which you can’t move or grow, or you can face them head-on and allow them to become opportunities to move into new places in your life. The choice is truly yours. Fear is not always a bad thing. There are obviously some things about which we should be afraid and in which we should exercise appropriate caution. But if our fears control us, or prevent us from taking certain risks, we allow those fears to define us, to limit us only to courses of action that we deem sufficiently safe, and as a result, many of us never achieve our potential–or we cheat ourselves out of the richness that life could otherwise hold for us"

The whole of my life I have experienced the fear of water and not being able to swim which for many years has created many boundaries, from not being able to go to water parks and swimming with my friends to not being able to enjoy the pool and all the amazing water sports available on holiday… BUT I can happily say I have conquered my biggest lifetime fear of water and swimming. I can officially say ‘I CAN SWIM’. No matter how much my friends and partner told me I could do it and reassured me I wouldn’t sink, my fear of swimming was completely paralysing, my mind was paralysed in thinking that there was no way I would be able to swim and stay afloat in the water - I had watched in admiration as people enjoy themselves in the water, gilding so freely - It was something that I just wasn’t meant to do, could never and will never do!

I couldn’t have been more wrong – I had gone into my 10 1/2hr sessions of swimming lessons with the DETERMINATION TO SUCCEED. I will swim I kept telling myself, I will face this fear head-on. So when in my 3rd 1/2 hr lesson I managed to do a few breast strokes without the float I was so overcome with joy, I couldn’t believe I had done it, all I could do was jump up laughing, the instructor must of thought I was crazy, but I was, I was crazy overjoyed.

It was by no means easy - I was a lady on a mission, a mission to conquer the water and conquer my fears. Every lesson I would watch other swimmers up above the pool to see how they moved in the water to try to perfect my technique and would practice 1/2hr after my lesson or now it’s turned into 1hr before my lesson, to practice what I had been taught by the instructor.

So here I am, my final 1/2hr session tomorrow and I can do a full length of the breast stroke and front crawl, what an achievement. I am as proud of myself as my instructor is of me too, she told me she had never seen someone learn this quickly, I told her well I am proof it can be done with enough determination and dedication.

I am not going to stop there, I love swimming and am excited to experience all the wonders that the water has to offer, I want to become a stronger swimmer so that I am able to swim in the deep end, go on water sports and diving in the tropical seas. The boundaries have been broken and this is just the beginning of a great adventure.

My message here is don’t be limited by your fears, with determination and perseverance you can achieve anything you want to and when you do it will be the most liberating experience of your life.

I will end with the 5 ways to conquer your fears by Doug Heacock – See full article here – a bit of a coincidence the site is called Zen Habits!!!

1. Realize that everyone is afraid of something.
2. You don’t have to overcome your fear all at once.
3. Approach your fears as opportunities for growth.
4. Be careful how you talk to yourself about what you fear.
5. Failure isn’t necessarily the end of the world

Stay blessed, gifted and highly favoured

Zen x x

Don't Give Up

Hi all

As Le said "we're back and we're mobile" woop woop...

WELL, let me tell you - I've had one of those weeks that I'm glad to see the back of! Phew! I made it!

There's definitely a shift going on in my life right now and it's taking a bit of getting used to! I'm eating my words of a few blogs ago where I said "when in comfort zone it's time to move to another level" or words to that effect! I can't count how many times I've said in my mind "really Lord? really?" excited, confused and darn frustrated at points! I've had it all this week! But! It's the weekend and I haven't given up! I've pushed on through, my besties have been great - (especially my girl Shemeleah, living with her is a blessing!!) and my God as always is Faithful!

You might be going through some changes too; by choice, default or otherwise. You may also be experiencing varying sets of emotions! Don't give up! Push on through, ride the wave and be excited for what's about to happen... I am! Seriously underneath all the hypothetical stress and frustration I'm extremely excited as to what God has got instore for me! :-) All I have to do is let go of the negative feelings and push on through.. I'm sure. ;-)

I'd just like to leave you with this poem/turned song that I've been singing since I've got in - it's definitely encouraged me to take on next week!

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

So about a month or so back my mum and I looked through some old photo's. We've done this loads of times over the years...typically, when we had guests. I used to cringe at the really awful ones and wished that my mum would use discretion when deciding which ones to pass round the room and which ones to sneakily push back down into the box. But she never did!

A combination of bad hair days, body image issues, bad outfit choices and 'what face was I pulling there?' led to me avoiding being in photographs and instantly offering to take them, hoping nobody noticed. I happily got away with it for years. But being a little older and wiser now it kinda hit home the last time we looked at the photo's. A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE WAS MISSING! Through trying to achieve the perfect photo and only being willing to take them when I felt it was good enough to capture I had missed an opportunity to record my memories. Loads of them! In fact one christmas at my aunts I had managed to avoid every single photograph, not even the back of my head or a side shot. It was like I wasn't even there!

SO, hindsight is a great thing isn't it! Lol. But it's as simple as this. Don't wait for that perfect opportunity when your hairs freshly done and you've got on that cute new dress or suit. Just take em at every opportunity you get! Because pictures are memories and they tell so many stories, some that we may even forget if we didn't have a picture to remind us!

So equipped with a new camera I bought a year ago that I've only used a handful of times and fresh out of my beginners photography course yesterday, I'm ready to see the world through the eyes of my lens. And I'm looking forwards to looking back at all the photographs, having a laugh and telling the stories that come along with them : )

Mel x

Love is the key - Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself...

Hi Guys,

Hope your all blessed and doing well. I thought it would be best for me you blog now as I have a busy evening ahead and I’ve just finished a very interested training course (Finance for None Financial Managers). And more importantly, this course was so interesting, that I am going to park the original blog I had planned to share today which was how not LLL (if your intrigued by this acronym then read the blog I posted on 25th May 2011 ;) as there are some really good examples from today’s course that I would like to incorporate before publishing.

With that in mind, I have a contingency blog ;) and based on conversation I’ve been having with friends and family of late, this one is probably more fitting to share today.

Ok so I titled my blog Love is the key - check yourself before you wreck yourself. Why? Well simply because I feel that its crucial for us all to take the time to check in with Self to ensure that our purpose, value and love is still in line. This is because if we truly love ourselves, then we are empowered to receive and give out positivity to all who deserve.

Knowing how to love yourself

Knowing how to love yourself is fundamental. As mentioned, this is because the energy created from self love is at the very core of your well being, self - empowerment, and your ability to create, enjoy and RETAIN the kind of life you want.

You cannot enjoy happiness if you are not at peace with yourself!

This is because as the relationship with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have.

What Are the effects of not loving yourself

Not knowing how to love yourself can be severely distressing and can open a slippery slope fuelled by indecision and self doubt. In more intense cases there is depression and self hatred, which can ultimately disable you in every area of your life and the self-focused negativity cuts you off from your connection to your Self.

Until you know how to love yourself there will be an inner war going on that divides your energy and incapacitate your efforts to move toward self love and happiness.

Besides that, if you lack your own love you attract people and circumstances that mirror your negative beliefs and feelings about yourself. By the Law of Attraction and energy transfer, this energy is neither lost nor found but merely transferred from one party to another - you heard it all before. So, in order for you to draw in loving people and circumstances, you need to know how to love yourself first.

Quick step techniques to love thy self

I read this earlier and thought it would be great to share (I've reworded and summarised the points, but if you want more info then pls feel free to email me at redibow01@gmail.com).

• Check in with yourself and tune into how you’re really feeling. I’m not saying have conversation with yourself openly by the way, but do whatever feels comfortable to release clarity on your current state of emotions. I generally tend to take a walk, catch up with friends, write or listen to music etc. If you are feeling negative, trace back to when you first started feeling that way and why. That way you have identified the problem and the next step is resolution.

• Have compassion for yourself. This is a key step in learning how to love yourself. Until we learn self-compassion, we stand outside our own love and feel separate from Source, God, The Divine (insert the word you know It by). This feeling of separation from Source is at the core of all our discomfort and disease, on all levels of our being.

• Forgive yourself, then forgive others, and free yourself (This is easier than you think). Read previous blog on forgiveness.

• Heal your emotional pain. Many of us have emotional pain and suffering in our energy field that lies below our conscious awareness. In order to heal and release it, we first need to acknowledge it.

• Create a Gratitude List to list things you appreciate about yourself. This is a powerful way to switch your feelings about yourself from negative to loving.

• Identify and break free of old beliefs that could be holding you back.

• Use your power of choice to choose happiness. Tap into the root of happiness inside you. What makes you tick and smile. Your creative gifts are a doorway into wellbeing and the fulfillment of your life path. Open to them and they will help you know and appreciate the unique and beautiful being you are.

And a final and fundamental aspect to be mindful of…

• Don’t fall into the Comparison Trap. One of the common potholes of life that you may fall into on the road to learning how to love yourself is the old comparison trap. You know these ones. “KMT, whys that person is way better than me.” Or you can flip the script into to build a high self esteem: “KMT I know know I’m better than that person.” This is simply the other side of the same coin (feeling better than someone else in this context can be a buffer to protect you from the wrenching feelings of not being good enough and what appears to be high self esteem is a cover up for low self esteem). Either way, staying with this stream of thought cause nothing aside from badmindedness (is that a word lol) and self-suffering. So stop, reset and move back to the positive you.

• Do you in the best way you can. Do as many things you can to nurture yourself on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. See what draws you and evokes positive feelings … Yoga? Joining a gym? Or you might want to learn to dance, change your eating habits, or listen to music you love more often. Decide to do at least one activity each day that is exclusively for your own self-nurturing.

So think that’s enough for tonight folks (Cocktail has got my name on it right now), but please remember, as we embrace and love ourselves more, the doubt and/or fear within will diminish and wellbeing will expand. This can only open the door to self-empowered, confidence and a rediness world!

As always, PLEASE stay gifted and highly favoured,

Redibow xxx

My #IAM moment

It’s inevitable that at some points in our lives we’ll go through instances of feeling low, stressed out, ugly, worthless, frightened - basically life feels as if it’s heading into some sort of no-man’s land, meanwhile you wonder around feeling bewildered, lost or unfulfilled. Your emotions are twisted in turmoil and each day the same hurt and thoughts from yesterday follow you into tomorrow, next week and maybe even years ahead. For a lot of us these feelings never seem to shift, however for others it’s a momentary phase and it comes and goes. Acknowledging the void or distress that you’re experiencing is the first step, and I would also say the hardest, but be honest enough with yourself to dig deep and begin to start freeing your mind.

To add some form of perspective into this, I myself have a lot of these ugly thoughts. Constantly counteracting compliments with put-downs, letting fear control the choices that I make in life, and allowing how I felt about myself affect my relationships. But I have a lot of confident women in my life and after so many conversations I realised that I owed myself a lot more, so I decided to change it…

Now for the turnaround. I’ve been scared of the gym for so long it’s ridiculous! The thought of feeling tired before the person next to me on the treadmill, and men ogling me as I step from machine to machine crippled me with anxiety. But how long can I really stay away from the gym when I love to exercise? So I booked my induction and now I go to sleep looking forward to my workout. Second thing, get to reading some positive literature. A friend of mine, Selina, always told me which books to purchase and I did a while ago, but never read it properly, now I read and re-read. One of the poignant things that stuck out for me is learning when to surrender and trust that the universe will sort you out, because some things are just not worth the headache. And the last thing is keeping a daily Gratitude diary. I write down ‘3 positives about my day, my life and me.’ It’s amazing how much we take for granted and don’t appreciate about ourselves. Focusing on those things really makes a difference to your perspective.

Let me wrap it up now so I avoid sounding like a therapist, I just wanted to make a point. No amount of kind words from others can give you self-esteem and you owe it to yourself to be happy. Do what you need to do and don’t become a slave to your thoughts. (As said by a friend of mine.)

Vicky. x
@Glitterbow





*Image sourced from: http://thefrolickingchampion.files.wordpress.com

Beautiful People

Hi all

I've just (well a week ago) landed back from a wonderful time in the island of Barbados.

The sun, sea, beaches and people I shared the 7 nights with were amazing!

A friend of mine invited me to his wedding when he got engaged last year and it was certainly a YES without hesitation that I would attend.

I was so blessed by my time away that it inspired me to write the following points about ensuring that we have the right people around us...

1.Like attracts like

We always inspire one another to be happy, keep positive, surround ourselves with good people and look for the best in every situation - believe you me living out all of the above definitely pays off! There's proof in the pudding ;-)

The newly-weds are a wonderful couple who are so in love, with a union which is centred around God and a great circle of family and friends. There was such a sense of joy, love and peace throughout all of the proceedings.

I congratulated my friend and his new wife for putting on the best wedding I have ever been to, and he replied that it was 'us' the guests that made the day what it was, to which i replied "we are a reflection of who you both are as people". I could see that he silently agreed.

2. Negativity can bring you down

My Mama used to say "show me who you are friends are and I'll tell you who you are" or "lie with dawg and pick up wid flea". Using those phrases as a basis I can definitely say that the newly weds are two amazingly wonderful people (after all I'm amazing and I'm their friend lol). There was no negativity around at all and as a result the holiday was fun fun fun. On a serious note though, negative people can bring you down - you whinge and moan about them but really you just need to get rid of them... no sorry what I meant to write is that you may need to pull them up on their negativity and deal with the situation. I often find that being open, honest and most of all positive to loved ones (family and friends) always works out for the greater good.

3. Be the inspiration

Maybe you need to be the inspiration. Going back to the couple.. they were so happy and enthusiastic about all of the proceedings that we all felt we had no choice but to join in with their happiness. Just like negativity, happiness can also rub off on other people. So smile and love the people around you, always speak positive and encouraging words into their life and hopefully the same will come back to you.

That's all from me peeps - still jetlagged "yawn"

Catch you in a few.

N x

The power of forgiveness...

Hey Guys,

Well it feels like a lifetime since I last submitted a blog but I'll be honest in saying that since my last one 'Heart is where the home is' life has certainly been putting my stamina and resilience tools and techniques into full drive. And hey so many close ones seem to have a similar story to tell (there must be something in the air lol), but like I always say make the best out of every great, good and grimy situation ; )

So what do I want to share to share with in the few minutes I have to blog today (got my last meeting at 17:30pm and then a full evening of gymming and scriptwriting ahead). Well simply this, based on my experience more so over the past few months I have come to the realisation that no matter how hard, how challenging and uncertain life seems sometimes - whether that be because you've had a loss(es), ineffective gain(s) also know as burdens or simply feel as though you'll never reach those goals sometimes. If you ensure that you have a strong sense of your ultimate purpose, self and a secure network of trusted close ones to lean on (through the good and the bad times) then believe me when I say you can handle anything that life will throw at you! As long as you know what you stand for, what you want and what you can positively give to life then happiness will always prevail. However, what I want to focus the next few moments on (as it is something I'm working on) is the power of forgiveness because sometimes to fully move on from a not so great situation, you have to reflect, reset and forgive... and here are some rational reasons as to why you should use this powerful phenomenon to help you walk away from any challenges (also known as b*#l sh*t ha ha) that passes your way.

The idea of forgiveness is simple - Just let go of all of your resentments and anger. Simple yes it may seem, but the practice of forgiveness can sometimes prove difficult. This is because some of us hold on to our resentments because they "seem so justified". And some people actually get pleasure from their resentments. But the cost we pay for holding on to resentment is very high as they are very stressful and weigh us down with the inflated burdens of the past.
Holding resentments does not punish the other person, it punishes us and since humans are not omniscient, or infallible, mistakes are inevitable for all of us. When we understand and accept human fallibility, it becomes much easier to forgive the mistakes other people, and even our own.

The benefits of forgiveness are huge but here are few:

-Relief of emotional and physical stress,
-Freedom from the pain of the past,
-Greater happiness in the present and
-Greater health and well-being.

"We seek to understand rather than judge". The Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, defines forgivable as “something that you are able to forgive because you understand it.” Forgiveness comes from understanding how people act and make decisions

Forgiveness does not change the past. What ever happened ... has happened .... it is done! But our feelings about the past can change! (remember the glass can always be half full if you allow it to be). The amazing benefit of forgiveness is this - When we make peace with the past, forgiveness frees us to enjoy ... a better, healthier, happier life right now!
...so make that phone call, send that text/BB or email or simply forgive instinctively (whether within your own thoughts and/ or even by prayer)... that way you should be able to continue to stand up for your morals and beliefs and more importantly work towards those goal(s) (with your ultimate purpose in mind of course)...

And last but by no means least - please don't LLL! (LIVE THE LOTTERY LIFE - waiting for big winnings to come along without putting in the hard work babeee! Yeh I should patent that... done lol Actually I think that will be the title of the next blog - research in underway!)

Till next time - live and love life in abundance,

Redibow x x x

The misadventures of Awkward Black girl...

Although I'd absolutely love to copyright this title, I'm merely paying homage to (arguably) the best webisode series in the history of mankind and the brainchild of directer Issa Rae.

Ok, slight exaggeration.

But the sheer joy and giddyness I get when a new episode pops up on my youtube timeline? *squeals*.

You know the feeling you get when you stumble on something that's so unique? So fresh? So different? So real? You resonate with it? Heck. It's basically your memories unfolding on screen, as you indulge in an assortment of sugary snacks and sink deeper beneath your covers.

It's special because it's yours and you will not share it. You're scared if it blows up, hollywood will greedily snatch it away and transform it into a cheesy romcom.

I've seen it happen and I can't have that happen to this.

*Le sigh*

"The misadventures of Awkward Black Girl" follows J as she navigates through the sheer uncomfortablity of life situations. She's awkward dammit, and she fails when she tries to hide it!

We see J deal with her passive aggressive issues in the workplace.

We see J deal with the awkwardness of the hallway.

We see J find an awkward best friend

We see J deal with the attractive office [female dog] who not only beats her to a promotion, but will stop at nothing to ridicule her in front of the new office hottie

We see J deal with her overwhelming feelings to this new office hottie and with obvious hilarity ensuing, we have an endless cycle of awkwardness.

I love J because she represents, to a certain extent, who I was for a sizeable chunk of my early teen years (trickling into some early adulthood experiences).

And I'm sure many of us as can surely relate to a moment in time when we didn't know our worth. When we allowed insecurities to hinder us from living and achieving goals. When we allowed our voices to be silenced and our light to be clouded and hidden in the shadows....When we, without guidance, embarked on destructive paths.

I sit and watch this series and it reminds me how far I've come. I would still be J had my network abandoned me. Had I allowed my relationship with God to flounder when I hit a low point in me life (and I've hit many). Had I allowed my inner critic to rob me of my vision. I haven't got it all together, but unlike J, I now know my worth.

Issa Rae, I salute you for the hilarious and eye-opening series that is ABG. You've had me in stitches, you've had me contemplating and you've had me resonating. 

I'm finally ready to share you with the world. It would be only fair....

[Warning for our under 18 readers: Contains some expletives]

Make sure you guys check out Episode 1 and 4!

Significance

Lately I've been going through so many personal changes. When I started this year I had no idea how it would play out, I actually thought it would be a gap year basically a year where I waited for change to happen and things to work out!

How negative is that?? But then I thought to myself if thats really what the outlook is likely to be I had to make changes and I had to make them fast. The fear of a mediocre life propelled me into action. I thought no way am I simply sitting back and letting life pass me by if I'm not happy then change is required.

That was it I started acting in faith, making decisions not fully knowing where or how I would get to where I wanted to be but taking steps towards that place regardless. I started putting myself in uncomfortable situations, pushing myself further and further outside of my comfort zone.

Yet still things weren't changing at the pace I wanted them to, I wanted the life of my dreams and I wanted it now, not in a years time not even in six months time but right now.

This pushed me to keep searching for the answer, I covered this a little in my last post I've made it my mission to study successful people and their journey to where they are now. Not having a great deal of spare time I started to think of ways I could learn on the go and started to listen to podcasts. One of the people I started to listen to was Zig Ziglar, he is a crazy american infamous motivational speaker and sales expert. From the time I started listening to him I have learnt many things, so many wonderful insights but one I would really like to share is what he states as the stages of progress in the life of a successful person.

Stage 1- Survival- life is about covering the basic's, paying the bills and keeping your head above water.

Stage 2- Security- I see this as if you were to loose your job or some unpredictable event was to happen you would feel secure to deal with it, you would feel confident that you had the resources or ideas to not only survive but thrive.

Stage 3- Success- Not only are you secure but you are comfortable no more than that you feel a great sense of a achievement in life, you feel like a winner, you feel as if you've created and contributed to something worth while. I guess its a sense of personal mastery, accomplishment and recognition.

Stage 4- Significance- Now this is where it gets good, great even. Not only are you personally successful but you are so successful that you are able to affect,  change, enhance, impact and alter for the better the lives of many people. When I say many I'm talking 100's, 1000's even you are making a lasting contribution to the lives of others. It extends far beyond the self, beyond your family and immediate friends etc.

Now this is just my interpretation, but for some reason this has had such a lasting impact on my consciousness. In many ways I still feel as if I am at stage 1, not just from a financial perspective but from a mental perspective too. However rather than feeling really dis-hearted about it I feel the most excited I have felt in such a long time.

Currently I'm listening to James Caan's audio autobiography (if you have an iPhone download it whilst its free!) but this is a great example of a mans life that has passed through all of the above stages. It resonates with me, I see how powerful an idea/s, faith, diligence and perseverance can take you all the way from stage 1  right through to stage 4.

I'm at the starting block, but its not a race its a journey and I have butterfly's in my belly because stage 4 here I come!

I've found out a great way to keep on track with pursuing your progress too but I'll see how it goes for me over the next month and I'll share it with you all next time.

Until then stay gifted and highly favoured.

Lele xx

Who are you?

There are many challenges in life but I think one that we can all relate to is the challenge of ourselves. We struggle so many times with the thin line (or not!) between who we are and who we want to be. Even thinnner than that the line between who we think we are and who we actually are. Thats where I come in.

Going to university was like a no brainer for me. Neither of my parents were university graduates but I have a few aunts and uncles who have been and it was so obvious to me that I too would be going. I already knew the exact course too (music and dance) and thought that deciding where to go would be just as easy as all the above...little did I know it wasn't. I bet now you're all going through your experiences in your own minds of the visits and countless interviews that took place. My dilemma was not on whether or not this was an acceptable university to go to but whether or not I was a suitable student. Say what?!?!

There is University A (No names listed to avoid offending anybody who went or attends) and University B (where I ended up!). Both universities offered my preferred course and I wanted to be somewhere where I thought I would grow in professional development and as an artist/performer. Uni B had more modern facilities and seemed to really be involved in the progression of the course as well as the student and seemed to be open to each students desires and specific areas of interest. Uni A didn't seem as open to other genres and practices but still showed promise and was also going through major cosmetic refurb. I knew where I wanted to go but as I approached decision making time that thin line between who I thought I was and who I actually was appeared blocking my way and stopped me from making the decision I wanted to.
You see when we think we're not worthy, when we listen to lies about our capabilities we change route and jump off track and start heading in another direction even though we know full well that while we may still lack in some areas we can do that which is before us; we'll just need to work at it. If I had only knew that then! My thoughts were "well, I think I'd like to go to Uni B its just that I don't think Im good enough. Look at all the other people who'd be going here..." blah blah blah. Not to mention family members saying that its too far to travel x y z. All that right there created a melting pot of excuses and supposed reasons not to go to Uni B.

So yes you guessed right! I end up at Uni A. I was unhappy for a whole academic year. I almost ended up hating the subjects I love and have a passion for. It was ultimately a waste of time and student loan. All this because I thought I was not who I should've been to attend. Folks, don't doubt who you are and your abilities. Know your capabilities but be confident in who you are and the offers placed before you.
I did eventually go to Uni B (huraaaay!) and wish I had the confidence to go there from the start. I ended up back on track. Some people don't and just sit through their university life unhappy. Don't be one of those but assess your situation and confidently make changes.

This situation has been used for my good! Now I can come to situations in life and before making decisions I can erase the thin line of who I think I am and look at who I actually am! I can be confident in that and recognise that if the door is open to something that seems a little bigger than me, or to something that seems more than I can handle then I remember I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


Be encouraged!

Are you the American or the fisherman?

In the Pride Magazine this month the publishers letter was based on an old parable about a fisherman. I've heard it a few times before, albeit the fishermans changed nationalities, but the basis of the story has stayed the same. I'd like to share it with you as it helped me find a balance in my life between chasing my dreams and the little things that make me happy.

I moved to London 5 yrs ago to go to uni and stayed because of a job offer. There was a time where I worked very long hours and got caught up in the constant rat race. I'd get to the weekend desperate for sleep, manage to do most of the basic things I didn't get to do in the week and before I knew it it was Monday morning and I was getting ready for work. I had very little time to travel to Birmingham to see my family and friends and got caught up chasing my dreams. There's nothing wrong with having goals, I'm still working towards mine, but I have changed the pace of my life and have taken control to ensure that I get to do the little things that make me happy.

There's a few things you can take from the story below, whatever it means to you, I hope it helps you on your journey through what we call life : )

THE MEXICAN FISHERMAN PARABLE

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the
American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs ... I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps 25 years," replied the American.

"And after that?" the Mexican asked.

"Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?"

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

Mel x

Speak out, someone needs to hear it!

Voice

2. a particular opinion or attitude expressed...

Hiyee

I was sitting and thinking the other day about how cool it is that we have this blog, that as young women we have an arena to express our thoughts and what is on our hearts with the ultimate goal of encouraging others... it's amazing! I seriously believe that influence and encouragement can change a nation/people. I most certainly have made changes in my life and took certain steps as a result of being influenced or for want of a better word 'inspired' by someone else.

I attended Question Time a couple of weeks ago which was a great experience. It made me realise the importance of speaking out on issues which mean something to you. I love a good debate and as you may know Question Time is all about debate and airing personal views on current issues that have been in the main news that week.

Sitting in the audience of QT made me realise that we all have something to say & what we have to say may influence someone else - for better or for worse ;-)

We learn so much by reading other people's works, listening to other people's words and watching other people's actions. It made me think about my own actions.. "what are people picking up from me" "how am I influencing others" "am I inspiring anyone"... I'm working on all three.

Now I'm not saying that I've suddenly turned into Zora Neale Hurston or Maya Angelou and have lots of wisdom to share but maybe just maybe I can share something that will help someone else. Even at work during our day to day routine we can always share a nougat of wisdom and knowledge. Whether it being a computer programme shortcut or a profound piece of ground breaking research.. let's share what we know.

"Tell them about how you're never really a whole person if you remain silent, because there's always that one little piece inside you that wants to be spoken out, and if you keep ignoring it, it gets madder and madder and hotter and hotter, and if you don't speak it out one day it will just up and punch you in the mouth from the inside."
— Audre Lorde

In search of excellence

Wow what a crazy, busy  few days its been. 11 days off from the 9-5.30 but my work is not done, its now time to focus on building my dream and building my business. Hard work but an exciting. On my journey I'm continually seeking out inspiration to keep me motivated and focused a few years ago I stumbled across a book at my cousins house it was called Change your life in 7 days written by Paul McKenna. My first reaction at the time was this must be a load of rubbish lol but I was intrigued so I started to read the book. 

This book really did change the way I thought, it made me see that where I was at that time was a culmination of every thought I had ever had, every action I had taken and every reaction I had ever had to external situations. From the time of reading that book I thought I have to change the way I think other wise I will never get where I want to be. One of the key lessons from the book I often refer back to are the 10 secrets of abundance (9 of them are relevant here): 

1. Decide right now that you are responsible for your financial abundance 
2. Save first and spend only what you can truly afford 
3. Study wealthy people
4. Build your financial reservoir
5. The 80/20 rule (Pareto) 20% of your efforts create 80% of your wealth
6. Get in touch with your passion everyday 
7. Charge what you are truly worth 
8. Celebrate your life starting today 
9. Keep going 

Abundance is a lot more than mere wealth or finance its about happiness, feeling secure in what you have and who you are. Its a mentality and a realisation that there is more than enough in the world to go around, although we are trained to believe there is lack in the world, this a fallacy in the world there are people with a scarcity mentality that create the illusion of lack. 


Anyway I digress, what I wanted to share with you is one of the 10 secrets that really stayed with me and that is to study wealthy people, or more importantly to me to study successful people. Wealthy both in the financial sense but more importantly in the sense that they are living life abundantly, limitlessly. Breaking barriers and making changes. 


I have come across many people in my pursuit all different, with different stories to tell and different approaches but one uniting factor is that they all absolutely love what they do. They are passionate about what they do. 


I thought I would share with you one of the people I most recently discovered Dr Stacia Pierce: 


http://www.lifecoach2women.com/successreport/


Check out the video, it really made me think so often we make working towards what we want so hard, thinking about how far we have to go, but why not make it fun and enjoy the journey of getting there? 


By studying people that are excelling, by exposing yourself to people that are where you want to be you map out the blue print for your own success and challenge yourself to be better. 


I'm always in search of excellence, share your examples of excellence on our Facebook page . 


Until next time stay gifted and highly favoured. 


Lele x

Easter - Let us not forget the true meaning.....

Happy Easter to you all... I hope you haven't eaten too many chocolate eggs :-) and I hope you are all enjoying the glorious sunshine.

We all have been very blessed over the past week or so to have had so much sunshine... I don't know about anyone else but I feel as though I have been on holiday. The things I would do on holiday I have done here this week... from eating out to chilling in the park, to sunbathing - I have loved every single minute of it. Throughout all of the sunshine, meeting with friends and spending time with family, I ensured I celebrated and took in the real meaning of Easter. There are many things around us that tempt us to forget about what Easter actually means, for example - I was walked through Clapham to see that every other shop was open, shops including Foot Locker and Superdrug.

I was very surprised and disgusted at the time but as time went on I thought to myself 'Shemeleah, as long as you have in mind what today is about then nothing else matters'.

Easter can be so secular with Easter Bunnies or at the other end of the spectrum it can have no meaning to some. So with this in mind I leave with you a very small poem about Easter - It really sums up what Easter should be about - Take it in, think about it and remember.... and then maybe eat another Easter egg ;-)

Enjoy the rest of the sunshine.... I know I will be.

Much Love Shemeleah x

If Not For Easter

If not for Easter,
the chaos of this world
would be all there is
and all there ever would be.
If not for Easter,
the unfairness of life
would drive us to despair.
But God sent His Son
to give eternal life
filled with peace, happiness
and unimaginable blessings
to those who choose Him.
All we have to do is choose Him.
Happy, Happy Easter!

By Joanna Fuchs

How bad do you want it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoS5ScUy6xM&feature=related

I've been so busy recently that I missed my last blog and am late with this one, so apologies to all the followers who may have checked today to see who and what has been posted.

I'm currently working towards my dreams and realising that more often than not there isn't enough hours in the day. I used to complain and when things didn't go to plan, I'd question why I was doing this and where it would take me. I won't say that I don't have any doubts now or that I don't wish for a little more sleep or some extra time to visit family and friends. However, I can truely say that everything that I'm working towards on a business, personal and spiritual level I want more than anything and am willing to make the sacrifices for now.

I hope you enjoy the video. Even though he is lecturing a group of students, I feel that theres something that we can all take from it!

Enjoy : )

Mel x

When one door closes...

"When one door closes, another is waiting to be opened.. you just haven't seen it yet"

Hey my lovelies

Well, to be honest I could quite happily just leave that quote as today's blog as I think it's pretty self explanatory, but I won't ;-)

We speak so much about going after our dreams, making 'it' happen etc. but what should we do when doors are constantly being closed, the answer is constantly no, the relationships constantly fail and life just doesn't feel too good? Give up? Hmmm, I'm sure that sometimes would seem to be the easiest option? I know there has been more than a few days where the easy option has seemed the best option in my life, but there's something inside that spurs me on! Sorry we are not 'giver upers' on this blog so giving up is not an option ;-)

What we must do is continue to persevere, self reflect and maybe explore alternative options.

If you can see and feel that you are able to achieve that job, buy that house and thrive in a loving relationship then continue to work towards the dream/vision. (There may be other things but these are the few common ones that I've chosen to highlight)

Too often I/we hold on to what might have been - what we feel should have been, when the right thing is waiting for us elsewhere. We have to be careful that we don't miss it!

In the meantime we can also work on developing the skills and attributes that will help us achieve what we desire.

Without sounding too airy fairy and pie in the sky - we have got to remain positive! Let's not get disheartened, upset or down in the dumps but let's learn from what we may have done wrong and how to change it in order to become a better person and more importantly the 'right' person for when the opportunity comes along.

Take care and stay blessed.

N xx

Friendship

Friendship

True friends are hard to come by! A person can start of with loads of best mates when they are a child/teenager but as the years progress, their friendship circle gets smaller and smaller. This is because people come and go, people move locations etc and lose contact. It amazes me how you can be so close with someone one day and then the next day you are complete strangers– how does this happen?!

The true meaning of friendship is something that has been on my mind for a while because this year has been tough for me. People who I thought I could trust, and who I would class as a true friend has let me down, to the point that we no longer speak. I feel it always affects females a lot more when you lose a good mate on bad terms because of the memories like photos etc you share, and mutual friends – it’s tough! You notice it when you want something funny happens to you and only that person would understand! It’s tough when the person you laughed with changes, and becomes a person you don’t even recognise! It makes you question, why you were friends with these people to begin with?! – have these traits always been there?

Out of a bad situation comes a good situation and it made me realise how much you should value the friends you have left and not to take them for granted because, when life gets tough (and it always does) it’s these friends that you can rely on! When you are doing great in your career, it’s these friends that will be the first to congratulate you! When you are sad about a situation, it’s these friends that will be the first to give you a hug or wipe away your tears! – That is true friendship!

Now, every friendship has its ups and downs but it is how you overcome them! This can be easier said than done, I understand that, but if your friendship is worth more than a petty argument, then give it that time.

I love my best friends in my life, they are like a sister/brother to me and I pray that God will continue to bless them! Friendship, like love, is a treasure, and gives meaning to life!

Jess x